Emotional Abuse – I’m no stranger to it
Yes, I am no stranger to bullying or emotional abuse to give it its correct title. I’ve gotten stronger as the years go by, I have educated myself on the topic and that has helped me to come to terms with it.
I have experienced it with people that I love and also people that I didn’t know for very long. I have experienced varying degrees of it from slight to relentless, name calling to a vicious verbal assault on my character and the person that I am. When you are going through it, the abusers do make you doubt who you are. You wonder why are they doing this to me? Am I really the shit person they are making me out to be? Can’t they see how much their words and emotional blackmail is damaging my spirit? How and why do they see me this way? What have I done to them to deserve this treatment?
All you want is for them to just leave you alone, forget about you and get on with their own lives, or even worse when it is really bad – pick on someone else, now that’s a hard one to admit. When it’s that bad, any other option is better than experiencing the hurt and pain.
The biggest lesson here is – hurt people hurt people. If somebody is inflicting emotional abuse on you, they have to be deeply hurting inside. Would a happy, secure and content person bully somebody else? Not a chance! If you are able to understand that this person would not be hurting you if they weren’t so very hurt inside themselves, you have achieved something huge.
If you can understand that the person who is inflicting emotional abuse on you is severely hurting and they are taking out their pain and hurt on you, then the next step is to empathise with them. It might sound weak but it’s not, it is one of the strongest and admirable thing you could ever do is to put yourself in the shoes of your emotional abuser and feel empathy for them. Why would you do that? Because if you can feel empathy for them then you can eventually forgive them. And if you can forgive them, you can make peace with the situation and heal from it. That is what I have learned to do, it’s not the easiest thing to do but it is worth it because if you can’t forgive somebody, you are dooming yourself to forever carrying around a heart full of anger. The other person doesn’t care, their probably off abusing somebody else, but you are the most important person and only you can try to heal and not let their abuse blight your life for another minute longer!
I am sharing my experiences in the hope that others will see that it is not just ok to speak out about what you have overcome, but that in order to heal and overcome these experiences, it is important to speak about them and share them with others. It is important to know that we are not alone, there is healing in that too.