Recalibrating Reality is a coaching model or technique that I have created in order to help alleviate anxiety, build self-awareness and live more in the peace and safety of the present moment. There are 3 pillars within the Recalibrating Reality Model.
- Reality Awareness – Our reality can be separated into 3 levels
- Recalibration – Making a continued conscious effort to recalibrate our focus back to our Primary Reality
- Release Resistance – Release, Relax, Return
Reality Awareness – Our reality can be separated into 3 levels
- Primary Reality
- Second Level Reality
- Third Level Reality
Primary Reality – is our “right here, right now” “present moment” environment. It is what we are directly experiencing at any given moment. Most of the time, for most people, our primary reality is quite safe. Take a moment to look around you right now, observe your immediate environment, use your 5 senses, soak up the sense of safety and peace of your present moment – that is your primary reality.
Second Level Reality – consists of the bigger picture of our lives. It can be anything “going on” for us or in our lives, that is directly connected to us or affecting us but just not right now in our primary reality. For example, it can be family or relationship dynamics, it can be responsibilities or commitments, it can be past events that still play on our minds, literally anything connected to our lives but just not going on in the “right here, right now” moment.
Third Level Reality – consists of what is going on outside of our lives, in the wider world of reality. It is something we have no control over, like things happening out in the world that may not directly affect us but has an impact on us when we focus on it. For example, the media, society, culture, wars, pandemics. The future is something that is also in our Third Level reality, in the sense that we don’t know a lot about it and have no direct control over it as such.
Anxiety, fears, worries and doubts primarily stem from our second level and third level reality because more often than not, the primary reality is safe for most people, most of the time.
When our primary reality becomes unsafe, varying levels of trauma result. Also, when the primary reality is unconsciously perceived to be or made unsafe by focusing attention on Second level and Third level realities, micro-traumas are the result.
Recalibration – Making a continued conscious effort to recalibrate our focus back to our Primary Reality
Recalibration, to me, means regularly taking a measurement of where we are and making small adjustments in order to set us on the right path to where we want to be. Recalibration also suggests to me that neither you, nor any part of your life is broken and small measured adjustments are what lead to the big positive changes we are looking for.
Recalibrating Reality is about consciously making an effort to focus on your primary reality as your baseline and only directing our focus to our other realities (2nd & 3rd) as and when the need arises and with purpose, as oppose to unconsciously investing our attention on the levels where most of our anxiety, fears, worries and doubts spring from.
When our awareness mostly dwells in the second and third level reality, we are often perceived to be “asleep” or “unaware”. We are not, we are all aware and conscious human beings, awareness permeates our very being. So no, we are the opposite of “asleep”. Neither are we “unaware” or “unconscious beings” as consciousness permeates our human “being-ness”. Even when we are deemed to be medically “unconscious” we cannot refute that consciousness still permeates our being/bodies, otherwise our bodies would not work or continue to carry out its bodily function, we would be dead if that were the case!
So, to say that people are asleep or unconscious, is a total misperception. It is more accurate to say that (within a certain situation where someone can be perceived to be acting as though they are “asleep” or “unconscious”) the person has a limited awareness within that situation. And this is what happens when someone spends a lot of their time and mental energy focused on our secondary and tertiary realities. In terms of awareness, no one is better than anyone else. I believe awareness is a spectrum and some people are more self-aware than others. I also believe, that a person’s level of self-awareness directly corresponds with their general level of peace, joy or happiness. In other words, the more self-aware a person is, the happier they tend to be.
It is my opinion that our quality of life can be dramatically improved by –
- Recalibrating our focus back to our primary reality (the here and now, present moment environment)
- Using specific mindset tools/techniques to build our self-awareness and calm our bodies and minds
- Purposefully directing our focus to the Second and Third Levels of reality, only as and when there is a need to do so
Healing from past trauma can only be done in our primary reality. Emotions can only be supressed or expressed in our primary reality. We have the potential to be a lot more explicit about what we attract into our primary reality. Effectively, when we recalibrate our focus from the Second and Third Levels of reality we are recalibrating our entire reality and creating a much more peaceful and happy one. We are taking our power back .
Release Resistance – Release, Relax, Return
When we find ourselves taken over by any emotion that does not feel good, no matter what that emotion is, be it fear, anger, sadness or anything else, what is really happening is that we are getting lost in the energy of resistance. You may be wondering what is it that we are resisting? The answer is that we are resisting the present moment and our primary reality and the most likely reason is because something has come up that may be an immediate or perceived threat to our natural state of peaceful awareness.
Release the resistance – there are two ways to do this. First, look at the situation and assess what is needed around it, if there is an action that can be taken, do so. Assess what is within our control. Second, accept the situation as it is, set the intention to let it go for now and reassure yourself that once it is within your power to do so, you will take the appropriate action.
Relax – soothe/calm your body or your mind – utilise your mind to rationalise your fears and reframe the situation to take some positive element or lesson out of it (this can be done with even the toughest of challenging situations). Communicate with your body that the threat is gone for now and all is ok, take 10 deep breaths – breathe in relaxation, breathe out the resistance.
Return – set your strong intention to ground yourself in the peace and safety of your primary reality and the present moment. Really soak in that peaceful and safe feeling .
If you practice this technique every time you are feeling resistance, before long you will find yourself becoming so much more aware and you will also find it will become more and more effective every time you use it!
Below are some tools which will aid or compliment Recalibrating Reality really well:
Tools and Techniques to aid Recalibrating Reality
- Building self-awareness
- Putting boundaries in place
- Honouring your values
- Striving to be emotionally intelligent
- Choosing self-love and authenticity
- Consciously working towards healing from past trauma
- Choosing your primary reality – beliefs, vision, learning the natural laws of the universe
- Honouring your body as the intelligent organism that it is
- Using intuition
- Rationalise your fears, worries and doubts before they become an issue
- Set intentions
- Reflect on yourself and your life in a healthy way
Whatever we do or do not believe in, we can clearly see that there is a limitless intelligence running through every aspect of life, including ourselves. We only need look at our bodies and the very many patterns and processes it carries out on a second by second basis, to see that intelligence at work. That intelligence has unlimited potential and if we agree that that intelligence runs through us, then we can also agree that we have unlimited potential.
So begin recalibrating your reality, believe that we are conscious, intelligent human beings with unlimited potential. See that there is a purpose to life, there is a pattern, there is meaning to be found within it, so why not chill out and enjoy the ride. Why not trust that that unlimited intelligence that runs through us has it all figured out (even though we may not be fully aware of the plan just yet) and trust that everything is happening as it should be.
Let your desires and inner guidance lead the way while all the time striving to build your awareness of the wonderful ‘self’ that you are. Life really can be that simple. When you start believing this you will see the proof of it for yourself.
We spend so much time focusing on the past and future, which will never be experienced in our Primary Reality because they are only mental constructs. Our point of power is in the present moment, so the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to start positively influencing our Primary Reality by focusing our attention on what we DO want, what we love and what we are grateful for right now in the present moment.
We all have a reality, yes?
We are all aware human beings, yes?
Can we control what thoughts arise in our awareness? Not really as our thoughts arise within our primary reality according to what is being experienced within it. What we can do though, is learn to control the focus of our thoughts by Recalibrating Reality.